Several Months After His Death

Originally written in January 2005

It has taken me a while to get around to working on this website. The first few pages I wrote immediately after Dale died and they were very emotional. I stayed home alone and just thought about Dale.

Since then, I, along with the rest of my family, have been trying to “get over it” (for lack of better words) the best we can. My husband came back from Australia, and we are planning our new life in the Southern Hemisphere. Rachel, my younger sister, has school and her baby. My mom is moving as well and is trying to keep busy.

I think because Dale was away so often that it is easy to forget that he’s not on deployment. My grandmother (she’s Chinese and doesn’t speak perfect English) says, “Baby Dale still in Iraq”. And I guess that’s how I probably feel whether it’s a conscious thought or not.

Most of the time I’m okay; it’s only when I’m alone that I really think about things. For some reasons driving really seems to upset me and I almost always cry a bit when I am driving alone. I think it’s because I use driving time as my thinking time. Part of me feels guilty that I don’t think enough about Dale, but my rational side tells me that I should focus on other things.

However, it is important to me to finish this memorial to him. We have received so many letters and cards, and there is no way that we will ever thank everyone. We have also received letters from Dale’s commanding officers, explaining what Dale was like as a Marine. It is a whole different side of Dale that we never really knew.